So, a grad student is taking my free beer, but I’ve been rather surprised (and a bit disturbed) at both the quantity and quality of responses to my ad. And why does everyone assume I’m a guy? Anyways, here are some of the highlights: (more…)

Fun news! Escapevelocity now has it’s own webpage icon, thanks to the wonderfully tech-savvy folks at lunamania. The following image should have appeared in the address field of your browser:

 

mmmm….kimchi. 

A while ago, I threw a party. Amongst the aftermath was a case full of really crappy beer. 19 cans of crappy beer. Unable to muster up the courage to throw away these beers, I’m giving them away for free on Craigslist, my favorite place to waste oodles of time during the day.

In other news:

• I have yet to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Can’t seem to find anyone who’ll see it with me. Why the hate for Brad & Angelina? *sigh* So wrong.
• The temperature situation in my office has reached crisis level. I spent the entire day wearing a sweater, a sweatshirt AND a wool scarf. It’s fuckin’ three days before July in HOUSTON, and I’m digging into my winter clothes. Craziness.
• Please, someone, Free Katie.
• I’ve decided to run the 2006 Houston Marathon. There. I’ve said it.
• My laptop no longer turns on. I’m hoping it’s a faulty power cord. Since Dell no longer makes power cords for my ancient laptop, I had to purchase one off eBay from some “company” in Hong Kong. If I can’t get into that computer, I’m fucked.

So, it’s no secret that I have a serious phobia of cockroaches. Serious. It’s with good reason, as I’ve explained here. Since very few people seem to appreciate the inherent danger of cockroaches, I offer an account of my latest near-death experience. (more…)

Batman Begins was good, except for Little Miss Tom Cruise. The way I see it, she’s the Jar Jar Binks of the Batman movie - unnecessary and completely annoying.

I watched the Spurs/Pistons game tonight with someone who made the following observations in regards to the appearance and demeanor of professional sports coaches:

Basketball:
The coaches are relatively trim, and wear expensive, high-end tailored suits. They pace up and down the court, screaming and yelling at the players/referees/etc.

Football:
The coaches are chubby, and wear sweatsuits that don’t fit quite right. They wear headphones and pace up and down the field, but not as much as Basketball coaches, given that they’re chubby. They usually look like someone’s annoying uncle.

Baseball:
To their credit, baseball coaches wear the team uniform along with their players. They’d get credit for team spirit, except that all they do is sit on their ass in the dugout and chew/spit tobacco. They’re usually chubby with skinny legs.

The way all this was described to me was much, much funnier than how I’ve written it.
You had to be there.

Dear God,

I know I’m not one of your most devoted, and that my communication with you is limited to taking your name in vain when cursing (hey, bad publicity is better than no publicity, right?), but I have a few humble requests:

1. Please help little Timmy Duncan improve his free throw shots.
2. Please get the Pistons to lay off Manu.
3. Please tell Rasheed Wallace to stop being such a crybaby.
4. Please help Tayshaun Prince look less gaunt and sickly.
5. Please let the Spurs win on Thursday.
6. Please let me win the Lottery.

Yours truly,
escapevelocity

P.S.: You did good with Tony Parker.