Dear God,

I know I’m not one of your most devoted, and that my communication with you is limited to taking your name in vain when cursing (hey, bad publicity is better than no publicity, right?), but I have a few humble requests:

1. Please help little Timmy Duncan improve his free throw shots.
2. Please get the Pistons to lay off Manu.
3. Please tell Rasheed Wallace to stop being such a crybaby.
4. Please help Tayshaun Prince look less gaunt and sickly.
5. Please let the Spurs win on Thursday.
6. Please let me win the Lottery.

Yours truly,
escapevelocity

P.S.: You did good with Tony Parker.