3:17pm. The phone at work rings.

Me: Hello, this is Jen.

Mom: JENNIFER???!!!!

Me: Mom?

Mom: WHERE ARE YOU??!!!!

Me: Uh, at work.

Mom: YOU’RE NOT IN JAIL, RIGHT???

Me: What the….?? No, I’m not in jail……

Mom: WHEW!! I came home and saw your phone number on the caller ID. Then I checked voice mail and there was a voice message from Harris County Jail asking for collect call. So I thought it was you.

Me: hahaha - You thought I was calling you to come bail me out?

Mom: Yah! Oh, I was sooooo scared! I was thinking, ‘what did she do?? what did she do??’

Me: Ok, obviously the call from the jail was a wrong number…..Hey, wait a minute…..how come you automatically thought it was me and not Christine or Daniel? Am I the child most likely to be a convicted felon?

Mom: hahaha - yeah!

Me: Gee, thanks mom.

Mom: I just went to a health fair and got lots of free pens. Come home and I’ll give you some.*

Me: Ok, thanks mom.

Mom: Ok bye.

Me: Bye.

I love my mom. The woman is hilarious.

* My mom feels her children don’t visit her enough, so her strategy is to constantly bribe us with random things like free packages of toilet paper, oranges, soap, carrot juice, free pens from health fairs, etc.

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