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The other day, I received this email:

Yippee!

Violet has invited Blossom to join the Catster Group called Flower Felines!

Here is the group’s welcome introduction:
Welcome to the Flower Felines Group!  We’d like you to join all your feline friends that have those beautiful flowering names.  We’re the garden variety, so there will be lots of fun — come join us!

Here is the group’s description:
We’re the Garden Variety with Flowerful Names

Here is the group’s tagline:
Bloom Where You Are Planted! 

Of course, Blossom accepted the invitation. How can you say no when a stranger’s cat emails your cat an invitation to join an online group for cats with flower-related names? 

Scary? Yes.  Hilarious? Definitely.

[I realize that the fact I created a webpage for my cat is corny and weird to begin with, so it may be unfair of me to make fun of this Catster group.  But…I can’t resist. Seriously.]

The Flower Felines Group is fo real, yo.  Membership is limited to cats with flower names, so it’s verrry elite. The group has 156 cat members with names like Daisy, Lily, Petunia, Violet, Thistle, Tiger Lily, Jasmine, Buttercup, Rose, Poppy, Iris, Pansy, Magnolia, Marigold, Azalea and Sweet Pea.  Daisy, Lily and Violet seem to be the most common flower names, though my favorite is Dan D. Lyon.  There were 5 other Blossoms.  Damn them.

If Blossom’s lucky, she might be chosen as the “Flower of the Month.”

As an official member of the Flower Felines Group, Blossom also has access to a message board where her fellow Flower Felines post messages to each other. Who said cats don’t surf the web?  Here’s a recent post on the message board:

Hi Dandy Lion, This is Pansy Potter and I am full of mischief today, I knocked over a glass of water beside my Mummy’s bed, soaked the carpet and her slippers, knocked over a vase of flowers on the counter, jumped in her shower and got all wet, all before 7.30am! My people are saying boy, it must be the nasty weather, she is usually soo good! They have to laugh at me though. I will pull your string now! Ta Ta!

I wonder what flamewars are like on a cat message board. Instead of “fuck off,” do they type “hissssssss” at each other?  Do they threaten to scratch each other’s eyes out or pee on each other’s rugs? Do they have a problem with trolls?  From Dogster, perhaps?

Some examples of other cat groups on Catster:

Cafe Turkey - For cats with food-related names.
Cookie & Candy Cats - For cats with cookie and candy names
Cats named after earth’s elements or places 
Brilliant Orange Cats Unite
Special Needs Cats - “Not disabled, just Extra Specially Divine.”
I Knead You
Fuzzy Sneaky Ninja Kitties  
Pet Poetry Group