useful tip #628

even if a coworker want to discuss - incessantly, all…..day…..long - the annoyingly excruciating details of her sick 2-year-old’s coughs, body temperature, phlegm and temper tantrums, it’s probably not a good idea to ask if she’s sure the kid doesn’t have SARS.

so, updates.

it’s been incredibly hot lately. last weekend, the heat index was 108. i’m currently nursing a sunburn that developed after i sat in the pool reading what should i do with my life?. this is my first houston summer in over 10 years, and i have to say, i’m not looking forward to it. one of my ‘favorite’ texas summer heat stories is how the heat actually warped railroad tracks. here’s an exceprt:

Heat-warped railroad tracks derailed 13 cars of a 112-car freight train about 8 miles north of Fort Worth on Saturday, Union Pacific spokesman Mark Davis said. Davis blamed it on a “sun kink,” when a sudden change in temperature or extreme heat expands the rail and moves it out of alignment.

you can read the full story here.

which might explain why things in texas are so big. yes, yes, “everything in texas is big.” haha. you’re very funny. but really - malls are huge, strip malls are plentiful and there are very few movie theaters with less than 30 screens. and most importantly, they’re all wonderfully air conditioned. when kids, senior citizens and adults are dropping dead from the summer heat, those seating areas inside barnes and nobles hold more meaning. i guess it’s similar to how during winters in north dakota or minnesota, people are stuck indoors because of the cold.

but it’s really just the summers that are like this. the rest of the year is really nice - late fall is wonderfully crisp, winter is mild, and spring is gorgeous. but those summers.

i also finished reading what should i do with my life? the true story of people who answered the ultimate question. a number of stories were interesting, especially the people who made the most drastic career changes and whether they were happy or not. but those stories were few and far between. what i found distracting, and irritating, was the ego i sensed from the author. he constantly questioned and criticized the people, and not in ways that would help the reader examine a situation or perspective, but rather to prove that he was right. i mean, what purpose is there for the author to describe how he verged on yelling at several of his interviewees for making certain decisions (”I wasn’t yelling, but talking very loudly” was written a few times in the book) and that the result of those “talking loudly” incidents was either the interviewee ended up agreeing with him, or the author being completely annoyed. i think that if i were interviewed by the author, i’d be pretty offended at how he portrayed some of these people (especially the ones who didn’t fit into the author’s mold). the author randomly threw in a few chapters about how he went to stanford, got an MBA, turned down 500K salaries even though he was “extremely talented,” and became a writer. so, this gave him agency to be a little rude to the people agreeing to be in his book. i dunno. i really sensed an ego in the author. i think it would have been a much better book if the author didn’t insert anything about himself at all.

anyways.

i’m now reading veronika decides to die, but paulo coelho. it’s about a woman in slovenia who tries to commit suicide by taking some sleeping pills, then wakes up in a hospital to learn that she only has a week to live.

i’m also looking into buying a house. high stress.

 

little brothers are really useful. mine in particular ranks pretty high on the usefulness scale. he’s got a car, and doesn’t mind being the one to drive to dinner. he’s pretty insanely smart, so he helps me feel less stoopid. he went from freshman to junior standing after only one semester in his university’s honors program. when he was younger, we suspected he had a photographic memory. he’s my computer/tech gear guide, and was responsible for introducing me to the world of p2p file sharing. he excels at every sport he attempts - he was captain of the varsity lacrosse team - and patiently explains sports games to me. and, he’s got a great sense of humor - so he’s also very entertaining.

of course, if he weren’t any one of these things i’d still love him to death cuz he’s my little brother - though at nearly 21yrs old and over 6 feet tall, he’s not all that “little.” in fact, he’s tall enough to reach those hard-to-reach places and strong enough to carry huge water bottles inside from the backyard. see? useful.

and last night, he again proved his usefulness during a very critical, emergency situation.

we were in the kitchen discussing dinner options when all of a sudden he says, in his usual mellow fasion, “whoa - there’s a wasp.”

of course, this sent me sprinting out of the kitchen, flailing my arms above my head. self-preservation, you see. if you’re not familiar with wasps, they’re like bees on steroids. but, wasps in a hot, humid houston summer are like bees on steroids AND crack. and, they have these huge stingers, which can maim and kill. no, there haven’t been any documented cases of wasps maiming or killing innocent people standing in their kitchens, but i’m sure they could if they wanted to. anyways, as i’m running around the house imagining wasps coming to get me, little brother calmly arms himself with only a thin plastic produce bag and an unsharpened pencil. an unsharpened pencil, folks. and i’m not talking about those plastic grocery bags you get at the store - i’m talking those thin plastic bags you put your tomatoes and cucumbers in. less barrier protection than a condom, i’m telling you.

little bro’s first stragegy was to calmly follow the wasp around the kitchen, using the plastic bag like a butterfly net. hello. my contribution was to yell GET THE RAID and make other loud noises. when that didn’t work, he finally cornered the wasp and knocked it out with the unsharpened pencil weapon. not killed or squished, mind you. he just knocked that murderous insect unconscious. then, he scooped up the dazed wasp using the ridiculously thin plastic bag and started to examine it.

“hey, cool. look at it’s stinger. it’s trying to sting me.” he started walking towards me. the wasp was, by this time, awake, struggling between his fingers, and highly pissed off.

NO THANK YOU.

“no, really. it’s cool. look.”

NO.

shrug. “ok.”

and outside he went to dispose of the wasp.

since little brother had saved the evening, i volunteered to go pick up dinner.

life is pretty boring right now, which explains the lack of recent updates.

i’m also a lazy ass.

in the meantime, bert is evil.

well, as it turns out, i begin my way towards a DrPH this fall…..which means my pledge to never return to school was just one big fat lie.

Houston, Texas: 9:28am May 14, 2003

in my little windowless cubicle at work, nibbling at a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, cilantro and pico de gallo and listening to the “About a Boy” soundtrack on my headphones. without my headphones, all i hear are people typing softly on keyboards and the occasional cough.

like most days lately, I’m staring at piles of work waiting for my attention…..work that’s mostly meaningless, uninspiring, and only reminds me of how small my daily world has become. and, like most days lately, i spend my free time pouring over rtw travelogues and lonelyplanet to fuel my dreams of leaving all this behind for a while to explore the world. on my drive to work this morning, i started to brainstorm places i could get part-time work on the weekends to help fund my trip.

my computer monitor cycles photographs of places i want to visit….Paris, Stockholm, London, Bruges, Budapest, Bangkok, Saigon, Kakadu National Park, Barrier Reef, Edinburgh, Ulaan Baatar, Beijing, the Trans-Siberian/Mongolian Railroad, Posnan, Moscow, etc., etc. my only consolation for being in this office is that forecasters predict that the heat index for houston would reach 100 degrees today.

i actually wouldn’t mind geting laid off. too bad that almost never happens to state employees.

in other news,

renegade democratic texas legislators hunted by state police made their stand against a republican congressional redistricting plan and holed up in a hotel across the border in oklahoma on tuesday….

so, last friday we were forced to attend a full-day, mind blowingly dull seminar held by the office of protocol research & quality assurance. nine straight hours of mini-lectures on the history of research, informed consents, source documentation, audits, and what to do if the FDA comes a-knockin’ on our doors. yeah. it was an exercise in maintaining consciousness.

anyways, one nice thing about boring lectures is the opportunity for doodles. some of my favorite doodles were borne out of sheer boredom during classes like quantitative research methods, biostatistics, greek mythology, and western european history. inorganic chemistry was definitely a doodle class - not only because i was bored, but because i had no fucking idea what was going on. needless to say, i did very poorly in that class. yeah, not very model minority of me.

ennyhoo, here are some of my doodles.

we’re about to pilot a project targeting female ex-smokers who’ve given birth within the last 180 days. it’s just as exciting as it sounds. the project is called PROJECT MOM, so i played around with some logo ideas.

doesn’t that second doodle look like the woman’s holding a fetus? it’s kinda creepy.

thinking about babies inspired this:

i think these pictures offended a few of my coworkers, including AnnoyingGirl and LoudCubicleNeighbor, since they’ve got little kids themselves. i don’t hate babies. i think alot of them are very soft and cute, and they usually smell good. so, i drew this to make up for it.

this face was supposed to look mean and scary, but it just looks like the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond.

well, there it is. a day in the life of a state employee. and for all you texas residents - this is where your tax money is going.